Reciprocity Read online

  He wanted to tussle—to pull, yank, grab, and demand I be his.

  Even though I already was.

  CHAPTER 4

  “You two look like the cat that ate the canary. What’s going on?” Dr. Morgenson asked, looking between us.

  “We’re getting married in two weeks.” Nathan smiled, but his eyes hardened as he stared at the good doctor, almost as if warning him.

  Darren blinked, his gaze shifting between us, studying. Then a chuckle slipped from the smile forming on his face. He shook his head and continued to laugh.

  “What?” Nathan asked. It was obvious he was as confused at Dr. Morgenson’s reaction as I was.

  “I’m beginning to wonder if you even need me anymore. The rate at which you’re improving is astonishing and has very little to do with me,” he said as he lifted his glasses and wiped away the tears in his eyes.

  I leaned forward and shook my head. “But we owe you so much.”

  His eyebrows shot up and he chuckled. “I mediate at best. I get you to open up to each other and communicate. But it’s been months since you’ve needed me in that capacity. I am in no way saying you’re both fine, but I believe you’re no longer in need of couples therapy.”

  “Why? You were so insistent we needed it, and now?” Nathan’s brow furrowed.

  Dr. Morgenson turned to Nathan and leaned toward him a little. “Seven months ago, you two had just gone through the equivalent of an atom bomb in your relationship. I was there, helping you pick up the pieces and put everything back together. Four months ago, I had a strong feeling that you were finally headed in the right direction after some very hard months and encouraged you to move forward. You were strong and united together. Lila has blossomed and stands up for herself and her wants, whereas you’ve relinquished a lot of fear of the Marconi and guilt over Grace.”

  “The Marconi will always be watching and waiting.”

  “But you’re better prepared this time. They will always be there, so why would you let them hold you back from being happy?”

  “So, you don’t think we’re moving too fast?” Nathan took my hand and squeezed it.

  “No, not at all. Especially for you two.” He leaned forward a little more and smiled. “I do, however, expect an invitation to the blessed event.”

  “Wouldn’t be a party without you,” Nathan said, smiling, but it wasn’t at Dr. Morgenson—it was at his friend, Darren.

  I chewed at my nail—a bad habit I seemed to be picking up. Granted, said nail had broken earlier in the day, so I was really just trimming it with my teeth.

  My stomach was in knots because of the anticipation—the next morning, I’d be giving my deposition.

  My eyes scanned over the document, but my mind was too distracted to focus on anything. I needed to talk to Nathan about what I was feeling, but it was so hard to put it into words. I was drowning in worry, but there was also another issue clawing at me.

  Knowing it was sometimes easier for me to communicate via email, I opened up my Outlook and composed a short message.

  To: Nathan Thorne

  From: Delilah Palmer

  Date: 2/4/2014 9:47 am

  Subject: Are you sure?

  Why don’t we just go to the courthouse?

  I returned to biting my nail, telling myself I was just trying to make it straight again when I knew it was really because I was nervous. Not only that, I was scared of the deposition and the wedding.

  To: Delilah Palmer

  From: Nathan Thorne

  Date: 2/4/2014 9:49 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  No. You want a wedding. Stop stressing. Plus, I want you walking down the aisle to me. Or are you saying you don’t want to marry me?

  I blew out a breath as I read. I never meant to imply that.

  To: Nathan Thorne

  From: Delilah Palmer

  Date: 2/4/2014 9:53 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  I want to marry you. Very much so.

  I was just scared out of my wits and trying to find the easy way out.

  To: Delilah Palmer

  From: Nathan Thorne

  Date: 2/4/2014 9:54 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  Good. Now stop stressing or I’m going to force you to relax.

  I gasped as I read over a seemingly innocent sentence. It was anything but. Since Nathan and I no longer shared an office, our romps in and around the office had slowed to an almost halt. The thought of him finding me and taking me away was enough to wash away my panic and replace it with a need for him.

  Time to flirt.

  To: Nathan Thorne

  From: Delilah Palmer

  Date: 2/4/2014 9:56 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  And how would you force me to relax?

  To: Delilah Palmer

  From: Nathan Thorne

  Date: 2/4/2014 10:01 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  Are you asking me to spell out in detail and dirty words the ways I would make you come over and over again until your body feels like Jell-O and you can’t walk?

  Fuck!

  To: Nathan Thorne

  From: Delilah Palmer

  Date: 2/4/2014 10:02 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  Promises, promises. Where’s the proof?

  I bit my lip and sat back in my seat, staring at the screen, waiting for his response. Nathan was the exact distraction I needed. Only he could make it all go away.

  To: Delilah Palmer

  From: Nathan Thorne

  Date: 2/4/2014 10:04 am

  Subject: RE: Are you sure?

  Conference room, 6th floor. NOW!

  I sat up straight and quickly locked my computer. “Hey, Owen, I’m going to go get some coffee.”

  He looked at me, then down at my desk and back up. “Uh-huh. Have fun. If anyone comes looking for you, I’ll tell them you’re in the bathroom.” I gaped at him. He shook his head and gave a little smile. “I’m not stupid. You’ve been distracted the last hour, and you have a full cup of coffee sitting on your desk.”

  I looked down and cursed under my breath at the untouched mug. Heat flooded my face, and I tried to find some response.

  “Go on. Don’t want him to wait, do you?”

  I shook my head and stood to walk out the door. The cubes were bustling with chatter as I made my way past. Each step drew me closer to my goal, making my pussy twitch in anticipation.

  I was in desperate need for him to take it all away.

  My foot tapped as I waited for the elevator, half expecting Nathan to be waiting with me, but he wasn’t. When I got off on the sixth floor, I meandered through the mostly empty cubes. The sixth floor was a recent addition to Holloway and Holloway, and not many employees were currently working on it. All that made it perfect for a midday romp.

  I turned the handle and stepped in, closing the door behind me. I wasn’t able to turn around when he grabbed me by the waist, his hand clamping down over my mouth.

  “Shhh,” he whispered in my ear. His hips rocked against me, pushing his cock against my ass as I leaned into him. My desperation rose.

  He let go of me and I turned around, latching my arms around his neck and bringing him down for a kiss. It took him a second to respond—the surprise was evident in his eyes. He was grabbing and groping, drawing up the hem of my dress with his fingers.

  I reached between us, popped the button on his pants, and lowered the zipper, then reached in the opening and pulled his hard cock out. He drew in a shuddered breath, his eyes fluttering as I pumped up and down his length.

  “Fuck, baby.” He gritted his teeth and picked me up, setting me down on the conference table a few feet away. He pushed my panties aside and slapped the head of his cock against my clit. “Something you want?”

  “Please!” I was needy, desperate for our connection. He ran the length of his cock against my pussy, pushing the tip in, then out, torturing me. “Nate
, please.” I was a whimpering mess.

  He pulled on the back of my neck and smashed his lips to mine, then lined up and thrust in. My eyes rolled back in my head, shivers running through my skin as flames licked the inside. I groaned against him.

  “I’ll take care of you, baby,” he whispered.

  His hips rocked, pulling out and pushing back in until he was all the way in. For a minute he sat like that, as close as we could be. The tension started to leave me—the world was coming back into focus. One hand still held my neck while the other gripped tight on my ass as he moved in a slow, steady rhythm.

  My hips moved against him, a plea for more. Harder. Faster. Everything.

  His hand on my neck moved away, sliding down my back, and I grabbed tight on his shoulders. When he reached my other ass cheek, I knew the message was received. His eyes met mine, desire and lust clouding them and sending another shiver through me.

  He kissed down my jaw to my neck as he pulled out, then slammed back in. I drew in a hard breath of surprise and bit back a moan. My nails dug into his shirt, wishing it was skin to pierce, driving him as the pounding picked up.

  He leaned back and used the leverage on my body to pull and push me like a ragdoll with each of his thrusts. It was what I asked for, what I needed. Each thrust fanned the fire, whiting out everything around me. I was gasping for breath, muscles coiled tight, on the edge of falling.

  It wasn’t enough.

  I let out a strangled, muffled sob. He leaned forward, pressing his lips to mine.

  “Come for me, baby.” He trailed kisses down to my neck, then turned them into tiny bites.

  His teeth sunk into my shoulder right as his cock slammed in. I crumbled, shaking in his arms as I came, his body rocking with mine. He was still latched onto my neck, marking me, as he tensed and shuddered.

  I stayed curled in his arms, my legs holding him securely to me. Once we were breathing steadier, he leaned back and looked me in the eyes.

  He brushed away a strand of my hair with his fingers. “What was this really about, Honeybear?”

  My brow scrunched, and I looked at his chest. “It was about the wedding, but it was also about the—”

  “Deposition?” I nodded and snuggled into his neck. He ran soothing strokes up and down my back. “I won’t lie to you—tomorrow is going to suck, and in the worst way possible. The wedding is going to be easy compared to the trial and all the shit that goes along with it, but you know what?” I shook my head in the crook of his neck. His voice softened. “At the end of it all, you and I will be together, husband and wife, and that piece of shit will be locked up. It’s not going to be pretty, but it will be worth it in the end. I promise.”

  I wanted to believe him, and I hoped he was right. Could it really be my first step to ending my nightmares?

  I was drained. My mental state was affecting my physical state as I stumbled out of a conference room at the prosecutor’s office. It felt like my limbs were filled with lead, all the while my brain was drifting in the waves of the ocean.

  Giving my deposition had been harder than I thought, and I was wrecked. Nathan wasn’t there to help as he was stuck at work until it was time for his. Not that he could have been in the room with me, but his presence outside might have helped.

  All the trouble was in an effort to put my psychotic stepbrother, Adam, away for life.

  “Hey, there,” a familiar voice said, calling me from the depths of my mind.

  I looked up to find Caroline smiling down at me.

  “What are you doing here?”

  She sat next to me. “I had a feeling you’d be beaten down and in need of a friend.”

  My bottom lip quivered and tears filled my eyes. Caroline wrapped her arms around me, drawing me close.

  “Thank you.”

  She ran her hand up and down my back. “How was it?”

  “Bad. Really bad.” I sniffed and sat back. “I had to retell the whole thing—answer questions.” I let out a hard breath, trying to settle myself.

  She ran her hand up and down my back. “Soon you’ll never have to talk about it again. You can push it all away and live your life.”

  I nodded. “I know, but I’m still not looking forward to telling it all again at the trial and all the time in between then and now.”

  “You should be.”

  I looked at her, questioning her sanity. “Why?”

  She smiled at me, her hand brushing a strand of hair from my face. “Because in two weeks you’re marrying the man you love and who loves you more than anything.”

  Her words washed away all the bad as I thought about all the good coming my way. It helped, more than words could say, to be reminded of where my future was going. Adam and his actions kept yanking me into the past, but soon that would be done, and he would be out of my life forever. Soon I would have a husband and be part of a family that loved me. All my wishes I once thought were an unrealistic goal for me were coming true.

  “Come on.” Caroline stood and held out her hand. “Let’s go get some lunch.”

  “What about work?”

  She rolled her eyes at me. “You forgot, didn’t you?”

  “Forgot what?”

  “Jack told you to take the day off. We’re meeting Sarah and Teresa at the dress shop at two.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Only I would forget about shopping for my own wedding dress. My brow scrunched. “Were we meeting for lunch?”

  “No.”

  “Then why did you come?”

  She grabbed my hand and squeezed. “Because I knew my friend needed me.”

  I pulled her in for another hug. “I’m so happy you’re my friend.”

  It would’ve been so much easier on me had I at least considered getting married any time in the last fifteen or twenty years. All that I didn’t know—and had no idea I needed to know—was brought up by Sarah, Nathan’s mom, and Teresa, my foster mother, and had my head spinning. At least we had a venue, and, with that, a helpful coordinator who worked to streamline the process.

  Over the years I’d seen movies where the bride had a ton of people with her while picking out a dress. Somehow, that was how it ended up being for me, as well. Caroline, Sarah, Teresa, and Erin were scouring the racks, asking me questions that I had no answer to. What color did I want? What style? Plain or glitzy? Form-fitting or loose?

  My impression that all dresses were white was squashed. Even though they all looked the same color to me, they were, in fact, not.

  Caroline worked the dressing room, helping me bounce, slip, and slide into each dress. After each one, I couldn’t help but think some gym could market the experience as a workout class, because it was. Some dresses weighed what felt like almost twenty pounds. By the third one of those, we whittled away the heavier fabrics. I finally knew something—I wanted a light dress for my beach wedding. A fabric that flowed in the ocean breeze.

  “So, when do I get to repay this favor with you and Ian?” I asked Caroline as she yanked another dress off.

  She grunted, and I popped free. “Whenever he gets off his damn ass and asks me.”

  My fingers moved through my hair, pulling it back from my face. “You’ve been together for almost three years.”

  She sighed. “Yeah, and I’m beginning to wonder if we’re going anywhere. I mean, he never wants to talk about the future.”

  “Really? He always seems so glued to you.”

  “Yeah, but is it super glue?”

  “You live together. Do you love him?” I asked. She nodded. “Then I’d wait to see if the glue dries.”

  She smiled at me. “Well, we do have an Aruban vacation coming up. Maybe we’ll find out then. Until then, we have a quest.”

  I turned to the mirror so she could zip up the back of the next dress.

  Caroline’s eyes popped out before she caught mine in the mirror and smiled. “Yes.”

  I beamed at her.

  It wasn’t a strapless dress like most seemed to be—it was a lace
-covered, v-neck cut, sleeveless top that ended at an empire waist. The skirt was light chiffon and moved with ease—ethereal almost. I turned to see the back. It was mostly sheer, with lace details around the edge.

  It was conservative with a romantic elegance. It wasn’t overly done up or covered in beads and fancy fabrics.

  It was perfect. It was me.

  There was no second-guessing, no “let’s try on a few more.” No, I’d found the dress. The one I’d walk across the sand in to join Nathan so we could finally become a family.

  Family. I would be part of a real, loving family.

  I deserved one, and so did Nathan.

  CHAPTER 1

  Lila

  “Lila!” Nathan called from the closet, a frantic edge to his voice. “Have you seen my black silk tie? The one with the cream-colored stripes?”

  I looked around the room and smiled when my gaze hit the headboard. Oh, I’d seen it—and felt it the night before when he’d wrapped it around my wrists. He was an animal and fucked me until I came three times.

  I grabbed one end and slipped the tie from between the wooden slats, then pulled it around my neck. My body heated from the simple feel of the silk and all the reminders of what this tie meant last night. I smiled and looped one end over the other, tying it as I walked to the closet where he was rummaging around. He bumped his head into hangers, jostling the clothes and knocking a suit jacket loose. I’d never hit my head like that, but then again, he was almost eight inches taller than me. The mop of brown hair on his head was still wet from his shower and was sticking out everywhere.

  I stifled a laugh from seeing him so disoriented. He was a hot mess—emphasis on hot.

  He looked so good in only his slacks, his muscles rippling as he picked things up. His blue eyes were wild in their search for the article of clothing resting around my neck. I leaned against the door with the tie resting between my bare breasts and waited.